Post by Saki Steve on Sept 8, 2009 17:37:20 GMT -6
Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Q.Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar
Q. What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong
Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment
Q. What does it mean when the Post Office's flag is flying at half-mast?
A. They're hiring
Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.
Q. What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A. A pimp.
Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it
Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of
the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.
Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the "F" word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!"
Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
A northern fairy tale begins, "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh!t."
Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A.Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States .
Q. Whats better than winning 1st place at the special Olympics?
A. Not being fvckin retarded.
Q. What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
A. Christopher Walkin
Q. What do ya tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
A. Nothing you already told her twice.
Q. What do ya get when You cross a Chinese man and a Puerto Rican?
A. A car thief who can't drive.
Q. What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A. Hooker can wash her crack & sell it again.
Q. What was Helen Keller's Favorite color?
A. Corduroy
Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. Put her in a circle room and tell her to pee in a corner.
Random Jokes:
When you see an Asian girl you think "she's Hot"
When you see an Asian guy you think "tech support"
----
Two guys were out hunting in the woods that overlooked their town. One guy-looking through his scope, says, "Hey, I can see YOUR house from here. Wait a minute, I can see right in the window and THAT'S YOUR WIFE WITH ANOTHER MAN!!"
His buddy says, "That bitch! Do me a favor buddy-Shoot her in the head and while you're at it shoot him right in his dick."
His friend says, "Ya know what, I think I can get 'em both with one shot."
----
There is a guy standing on a bridge that is about 5 feet from a pond. He pulls his dick out and starts to take a piss.
A second guy walks up to him, pulls out his weiner and also starts to take a piss.
The first guy says, " Wow! That water sure is cold!!"
The second guy says, " Yeah and deep too."
----
Have you guys heard about the new Italian mud tires?
Dego through mud, dego through snow, dego through ice and when dego flat dego "w0p w0p w0p"
----
A boy and his dad talking
Son:
Dad what's the difference between theory and reality?
Dad:
Well son, go ask your sister and mother if they would sleep with a man for a million dollars.
Son returns;
Dad they both said they would sleep with a man for a million dollars but I still don't know the difference between theory and reality.
Dad
Well son in theory we are worth TWO MILLION DOLLARS
But the reality is we live with a couple of whores.
----
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs propped up against a tree?
Ilene
What do you call her in Japan?
Irene
---
With all the new technology regarding fertility,recently a 65-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby. When she was Discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.
May we see the new baby?" one asked."Not yet," said the mother "I'll make coffee and we can Visit for a while first."
Thirty minutes had passed,and another Relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"
"No, not yet," said the mother.
After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked Again, "May we see the baby now?"
"No, not yet," replied the mother.
Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we se e The baby?"
"When he cries!" she told them.
"When cries?" they asked. "Why do we have to wait until He cries?'
"Because I forgot where I put him.... OK?"
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Q.Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar
Q. What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong
Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment
Q. What does it mean when the Post Office's flag is flying at half-mast?
A. They're hiring
Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.
Q. What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A. A pimp.
Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it
Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of
the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.
Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the "F" word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!"
Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
A northern fairy tale begins, "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh!t."
Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A.Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States .
Q. Whats better than winning 1st place at the special Olympics?
A. Not being fvckin retarded.
Q. What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
A. Christopher Walkin
Q. What do ya tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
A. Nothing you already told her twice.
Q. What do ya get when You cross a Chinese man and a Puerto Rican?
A. A car thief who can't drive.
Q. What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A. Hooker can wash her crack & sell it again.
Q. What was Helen Keller's Favorite color?
A. Corduroy
Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. Put her in a circle room and tell her to pee in a corner.
Random Jokes:
When you see an Asian girl you think "she's Hot"
When you see an Asian guy you think "tech support"
----
Two guys were out hunting in the woods that overlooked their town. One guy-looking through his scope, says, "Hey, I can see YOUR house from here. Wait a minute, I can see right in the window and THAT'S YOUR WIFE WITH ANOTHER MAN!!"
His buddy says, "That bitch! Do me a favor buddy-Shoot her in the head and while you're at it shoot him right in his dick."
His friend says, "Ya know what, I think I can get 'em both with one shot."
----
There is a guy standing on a bridge that is about 5 feet from a pond. He pulls his dick out and starts to take a piss.
A second guy walks up to him, pulls out his weiner and also starts to take a piss.
The first guy says, " Wow! That water sure is cold!!"
The second guy says, " Yeah and deep too."
----
Have you guys heard about the new Italian mud tires?
Dego through mud, dego through snow, dego through ice and when dego flat dego "w0p w0p w0p"
----
A boy and his dad talking
Son:
Dad what's the difference between theory and reality?
Dad:
Well son, go ask your sister and mother if they would sleep with a man for a million dollars.
Son returns;
Dad they both said they would sleep with a man for a million dollars but I still don't know the difference between theory and reality.
Dad
Well son in theory we are worth TWO MILLION DOLLARS
But the reality is we live with a couple of whores.
----
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs propped up against a tree?
Ilene
What do you call her in Japan?
Irene
---
With all the new technology regarding fertility,recently a 65-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby. When she was Discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.
May we see the new baby?" one asked."Not yet," said the mother "I'll make coffee and we can Visit for a while first."
Thirty minutes had passed,and another Relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"
"No, not yet," said the mother.
After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked Again, "May we see the baby now?"
"No, not yet," replied the mother.
Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we se e The baby?"
"When he cries!" she told them.
"When cries?" they asked. "Why do we have to wait until He cries?'
"Because I forgot where I put him.... OK?"
